November 1, 2007

Show Me Yer Neck

Confession: I love the feel of a kiss on the neck. It takes my breath away. For that matter, I love having a hand around my neck. I like pretty much anything on my neck with the exception of turtlenecks. Which I don’t like at all. I especially like pearls on my neck. Diamonds are cute too, but they have lost their appeal at the ham hands of the bling bling crowd.

And about turtle necks . . .

People who live in cold climates really seem to like them, but they look so horrible and feel so stifling, I don’t understand how anyone can bear it. They are kind of like shorts in that very few people look good in them, yet so many insist upon wearing them. It seems that warmth can be effectively achieved with a scarf and layers. And guess what: with layers, when you go indoors, you can remove them according to conditions and let the skin on your neck and chest breathe.

Imagine.

For those who think that turtlenecks are real swell, you can have them. All of them. Just try to avoid wearing them in public, because they are even difficult to look at. Not as bad as seeing someone walking down the street with their zipper down, of course, but close.

Guess who woke up surly.

14 comments:

Scout said...

I hate turtlenecks because I can't stand the choking feel, and I think my normal temperature is always about five degrees above normal already, much less with something gripped around my neck. And you're right--a lot of people look like Bazooka Joe in them.

Having said that, ironically, today I am wearing a turtleneck for the first time in at least a year. It's a lovely black cashmere one, and I think I look damn cute in it, even if I do have to tug at the collar now and then. That's probably isn't very cute.

Fresh Hell said...

Well . . . exceptions are always made when cashmere is involved. Cashmere makes me want to purr.

I mention this only because I know you are a fellow knitter: A few months ago I found a red 100% cashmere maternity sweater at my local thrift store for $7. I bought it, brought it home, unravelled it into hanks, soaked and stretched out the kinks, and now my stash includes a whole sweaters worth of gorgeous cashmere yarn. I'm all about recycling! Since your yarn shop is pulling up stakes, there's an idea to keep the yarn river flowing.

Kate Isis said...

Well said, turtlenecks should be banned. Of course over here turtle neck has an entirely different disgusting meaning.

Fresh Hell said...

Eeeewwww!!!

Disgusting indeed!

AliBlahBlah said...

I'm with you on the scarves thing. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a turtleneck in an overheated building. Other than actually being seen in a turtleneck.

They do tend to accentuate people's boobs though - so maybe that explains some of the popularity?

dive said...

The neck is without doubt the most erotic part of a woman, Fresh.

And turtlenecks should only be worn by the elderly to cover up their … well … "turtle" necks. Ew.

savannah said...

surly, eh? well, sugar...i can't wait to see tomorrow's post ;-) re turtlenecks...yeah, i'm with you..i wrap a scarf around my neck..on when it's cold, and off when it isn't..

Art said...

I was forced to occasionally wear a turtleneck as a small child. The very sight of one now makes me cringe.

Mrs. G. said...

I do like a turtleneck now and again, but scarves are my true love. They make me feel saucy.

Andraste said...

I like a turtleneck now and again as well, but only when it's absolutely below 20 degrees out. Also I only buy them in men's large sizes, so the neck is good and loose. And I don't wear them in public until they're good and broken in, and look like they've seen an Iditarod or two.

But wait, I sound defensive, don't I. It's not like I care. ...or...do...I...?

Velma said...

I'm here via NaBloPoMo, and I couldn't agree more with the "Let's Dump On Turtlenecks Vibe" going down here. I'm always too hot or too cold, I've got a double chin, and just... just... YUCK! I'm here in New England, too, and I. Don't. Get. Turtlenecks.
_______________

Disclaimer: Exceptions can always be made for cashmere, though.

Scout said...

For the record, by 7:00 last night, I was digging at that damned turtle neck and wishing I didn't have the thing wrapped around my neck. It seemed like such a good idea in the morning.

Fresh Hell said...

Ali~ plunging necklines do a pretty good job accentuating the bustline as well . . . just sayin . . .

Dive~ here all along I thought the brain was the most erotic part of a woman. Thanks for clearing that up! ;-)

Savannah~ Yeah, surly. But that seems to be a morning thing in general. Hmmm.

Art~ I'm with you. When I was in 2nd grade, I was sick on class picture day so my mom put me in an orange turtleneck. The indignity!

Mrs. G~ Feel saucy, nothin'! You are saucy!

Andraste~ I'd never hold it against you, I just can't bear the damned things.

Velma~ Cashmere is the great equalizer, isn't it. Something that divine can cling to any bit of me. Thanks for popping in.

Scout~ See! They can be practical, but they definitely fall into the small doses category.

Fresh Hell said...

In case you are wondering where my post for today is: Fucking blogger won't let me get to my write a post page so I posted it here:

http://nablopomo.ning.com/profile/FreshHell

Read it and weep!