November 7, 2007

From the Inbox

It's 8:20 and I'm still at the office. My flight to Texas leaves at 5:50 AM and I still have not done laundry nor packed. I don't foresee much sleep before I'm airborne. The friend who I'm visiting is not optimistic about me making the flight. Right now, I'm not too optimistic about it either.

So. Instead of writing something, I am once again tossing up something somewhat interesting and amusing that landed in my inbox. Whether any of it is true, I'm sure could tell you.


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.....)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)


Art said...

Human urine can (sometimes at least) glow under a black light too. Please don't ask me how I know this...

And, personally, I'd be with the lions.

dive said...

We have sex for pleasure?
That's the last forty-eight years of my life put into sad perspective.

Vic said...

Hmmm. The praying mantis. Is this the birth of the Lesbian Feminazi? Two female mantis, attracted to each other and it's line up, fellas. We'll rip your heads off for nothing!

Fresh Hell said...

Art~ You have to tell me how you know about human uria!

Dive~ Sometimes it can be torture more than pleasure. Sometimes the torture of it is the pleasure. Usually, it is just not engouh. At least in my experience of lack thereof.

Vic~ Howdy, lady! Welcome to my corner of the web!

Perhaps the humble praying mantis lesbian feminazis have made an evolutionary jump that we lame humans haven't been able to rise to.

AliBlahBlah said...

I swear this same list used to be up in the women's toilets in our pub at home. The drunker you got the more sense it all made.

Glad you made it to Texas safely!

savannah said...

forget the list, sugar...the label made me crack the hell up! phoning it in no way!

Rich said...

A 30 min orgasm? what that's like giving strawberries to...pigs.