Confession: I Loathe Memes

Eddie Waring is a troublemaker of the first order. I’m not sure what would qualify a second order troublemaker, but he’s got the first one all wrapped up. The big lug tickled me with a meme and having heretofore resisted that blogging trap, I’m inclined to follow through since he’s the first person to ever look at my blog. Nostalgic sentimentality has bit me in the ass more times than I care to think about.

The meme at hand: 8 autobiographical tid-bits. Without further ado...

1. My mother left my father when he came home to get his gun to have it out with his girlfriend’s husband. My mother was very upset because of the gun thing but also because he told her he wasn’t in love with her anymore but was in love with Melva. Who was black. The inter-racial thing didn’t sit well with mom. Which leaves me scratching my head since dad was Mexican and she was as pasty white as they come… oh yeah, and she had a couple of mixed race babies. People are funny. Especially the ones related to me.

2. At 21 years of age, I was at a crossroads; I could go to university or join some friends for a trip to Europe… indefinitely. I employed my best decision making skills at the time. I drank a bottle of Wild Turkey and flipped a coin. I went to Europe.

3. When I was in high school I stole the American and California flags from the Probation Department Office flagpole while walking home late one night after having many wine coolers (hey, it was the 80’s and I was too young to know better). I walked through my high school to get home and snuck into the swimming pool to skinny dip on my way. The flags were used as towels to dry my pubescent body.



4. I don’t take naps. I used to run away from daycare after kindergarten because they wanted me to take a nap. I was all… Tcha! I’m like, five-years-old… I don’t take naps anymore! I feel much the same way now.

5. At 11 years old I read The Sun Also Rises. Around the same time, I didn’t do some chore or another which prompted my father to levy a punishment against me. I was made to write a college level critique of the characters in The Sun Also Rises… typed, double spaced. a) I didn’t know how to type, b) it was before computers were commonplace, so I had to do it the old fashioned way, and c) he made me re-write it and re-type it until it was flawless and college level. This was when I learned about the concept of impotence.

6. I was cut off then thrown out of a dive bar at 7 AM on New Years Day once.

7. Whenever I enter a church, especially an old one, I’m compelled to pet the kitty, and I usually do. In case you may wonder why I reside at the Gates of Hell… I’m just getting acclimated.

8. I was “the other woman” once, and when “the woman” found out I smoothed things out by sleeping with her as well. And with the both of them at once. Thus, the lesson learned that I am indeed partial to men in the rack.

I’m calling Ellie, Old Knudsen, Dive, Sassy, and Andraste to the carpet, and I fully expect all of them to play along. Ok, I’m not stupid; I don’t really expect many of them to.