November 27, 2007

DUMBO



Have you ever had the experience where you write something truly inspired and brilliant? And for some reason, some ridiculous reason that would baffle the mind, you type it directly into the Blogger post page. And then, when you go to post said brilliant piece of prose, Blogger asks for your login and password. So you think, I’m going to hit the back button and save that brilliant piece of word smithery to another document so as not to lose it. And when you go to the previous page, it is gone. GONE! Gone forever, Clementine. Has that ever happened to you? Me neither.

That was the start of this day. I tried to re-construct it, but it was all in vain. The magic was gone.

Since I don’t have anything more interesting, and apropos of nothing other than I just like it, I’ll give you this picture of the Manhattan Bridge as seen from a park in DUMBO.




For those of you who don’t know, DUMBO is an acronym for Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass. It is a formerly industrial, presently mid-gentrification, artsy neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York. One of my good friends and fellow Thanksgiving revelers is the manager of a bar/restaurant/nightclub there.

On my first trip to DUMBO, we took this picture one middle of the night after attempting to drink all the wine in the cellar. The other highlight of the evening was convincing a group of not so smart Triple A League baseball players that my sister was a man, now living as a woman. If you ever saw my sister, there is really not a question in a thousand years what her gender is. She is stacked with cartoon Wonder Woman curves.

My sister was talking to them and I was talking to the bartender. One of them got my attention I heard my sister say, “No, I am not a man. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and ask Fresh Hell, she’s my sister and she would know.”

So the not so smart baseball boy asked, “Hey, she is a man, isn’t she?”

Not knowing the full context of their conversation, beyond my sister indicating that I was indeed her sister and that she is unencumbered by a Y-chromosome, I looked him square in the eye and said, “Of course she’s a man.” And by some act of bacchanalian Voodoo, I managed to keep a straight face as my sister’s distorted in disbelief. Eventually I fessed up and told them the truth, but at that point they were convinced otherwise.

She is a tall lady (5’10”) with very large hands, but seriously, she is all woman.

Anyhow, it was amusing and I like bridges, so there you have it.

Something about steel girders.

November 26, 2007

Ooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm . . .

Yesterday my sister dragged me to the Sunday morning yoga class that she teaches. While I was bending and contorting in the yoga sort of way for the first time since well before I had surgery on my knee, it occurred to me that I am not as strong as I was just a few months ago, the compensation for a lame knee has hit the whole of my body and left it off kilter, and my flexibility leaves a lot to be desired. This morning, there are very few bits of me that are not experiencing soreness as a result.

My teeth and scalp for example . . . they are not sore.

Yoga is a dear friend. Sure there is pain involved, but it soothes my mind, sculpts biceps that are fun to look at, promotes strength and flexibility that leaves the fellas awestruck, and facilitates an exciting sex life. Now . . . all I have to do is get the fella to strike with awe and I'll be all set. Well, that and spend some time getting my yoga game face back on so I will have the wherewithal to pitch out some awe inspiring contortions.

For all of you fellas, who have not yet taken a yoga class, there are benefits worth consideration that many a man overlooks.
  • It isn't just for girls.
  • Just because you do yoga, doesn't mean you have to become a snively vegetarian and there is no need to start wearing hippy clothing and odious freaking patchouli oil.
  • Every guy I know who does yoga regularly has a superior body in shape and tone to those who do no yoga. In fact, the guys I know who do yoga exclusively for fitness, foregoing weights and aerobic activities, have better bodies than most other athletes I have known.
  • The whole relaxation bit is tremendous; all of life's woes do evaporate for a spell.
  • It makes for the sleep of an angel.
  • And one must not overlook the class itself, which is largely populated by flexible women in tight clothing.

The "yoga crowd" gets the . . . peace, love, unity, happiness, 'balance' . . . wtf? Balance? That is where the boat sets sail without them. They tend to overlook giving equal energy to war, hatred, discordance, sadness, anger, and so forth. The results of which are a bunch of self-indulgent assholes that spend all their time focused on their own personal inner peace, love, unity, happiness. Only the pretty thoughts and feelings shall enter their "beings". However, all you have to do is glare and spit at them and they slink away just like street proselytizers do.

November 25, 2007

It Has Been Suggested . . .

Dear Dive has suggested that the time has come for me to say, "Okay, Dive. You were right about NaBloPoMo."

First and foremost: Thanks, Dive! I was at a loss for what to say today that would have the appearance of a post, but patently is not.

To an extent, he is right about NaBloPoMo, and to an extent, not so much. I have barely tapped the tall tales I wanted to share with you good people, but for lack of time in this God forsaken month (Second only in that category to next freaking month!), I have scarcely had a moment to pull a few thoughts together. This month I went out of town twice (6 days, and 4 days) to attend a wedding and for the gluttons feast holiday, and written a closure report on a project that spanned 7 years of remedial work, and entered therapy to address my moody blues . . . again. Zowie, this has been a humbdinger of a month. NaBloPoMo couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time. The good news is that I do have quite an arsenal of words to share. The bad news is that it is taking me forever to find a moment to sit down and crank those words out. Hold steady, friends. My time to shine is yet to come.

November 24, 2007

Submittal From The Genius Parade

I have nothing intelligent to say.

I've been looking at the screen while watching DVDs of NCIS in the background. Usually inspiration will rear its head while watching interesting shows, but I've got absolutely nothing for all y'all today. I was going to collect some alone time and get my head into shape for constructing something worth reading. However, the prospect of parting ways from my sister this afternoon was too much to bear so she came back to my place with me and we are having quality girlie time together. Just the two of us. It is fantastic.

Moral of the lack of story is: I'm sorry to waste your time. Come back soon and eventually I'll have something interesting to say.

xooxoox

November 23, 2007

Jackass!

I just got finished watching Jackass Two. It is amazing how funny a bunch of guys with no shame and high pain thresholds can be. I laughed hysterically and occasionally was so revolted that I had to look away.

I highly recommend it.

Now, about leftover pie . . .

November 22, 2007

Blood Sugar Overload

My belly is full of starch and pie. The thing about Thanksgiving that I like the least is the forced binge factor. I love to eat. A lot. But this is just ridiculous. I fear that my belly is too full to drink any more wine. I’m strong, therefore, I’ll endure.
Ali Blah Blah tagged me on a meme. Thank God! I mean, in the past I’ve lambasted them, but I am relieved that I don’t have to come up with something straight out of my food addled brain. Yay!

The goal of this meme, consistent with the theme of the day, is to divulge seven things that I’m thankful for. And so . . .

1) Quite thankful that that I did not run over the deer that ambled out onto the highway this morning as I was clipping along at 80 miles an hour. It actually stopped smack dab in the middle of my lane, and looked dumbly at me. I slammed on the brakes and it slowly continued on. After passing it and leaving it unharmed, in my rear view mirror three of his buddies also walked across the highway with the same dumb look in their eyes.

2) I’m thankful for bleached blond boys. The friends I’m sharing the holiday with have a son who has a freshly bleached mop. He is 12 years old, very clever and gives me hope for the future.

3) There is a small feline friend of mine who climbs all over me in my sleep and though she’s two years old, she still has not learned how to meow like a real cat. She just squeaks like a kitten . . . still. I’m thankful for that.

4) On my 29th birthday, my mother presented me with a strand of Mikimoto pearls. I cried like I’d won the lottery. I’m thankful to have those.

5) My brother was in the Army, was taught to speak Arabic, was deployed to Iraq in the Special Forces, and came home safely. Thankful doesn’t quite cover it.

6) I’m thankful for strapping young men. Occasionally, when I see these creatures on the street, I will just thank them. I won’t tell them what I’m thanking them for, I’ll just say, “Thank you.”

7) November is nearly over, for which I am truly thankful. The barrel is being scraped. I still have plenty to post about, but I have been so damned busy this month that I haven’t had a chance to actually put much of it to words. The good news is I may have some upcoming posts that aren’t quite this lame. The bad news is I do not know how long this so damned busy situation will go on. NaBloPoMo burnout . . . uh-huh.

If you want to share with the blogworld what you are thankful for, consider yourself tagged. I yearn for wine and sleep. Perhaps not in that order.

November 21, 2007

Going Green

Yeah, I'm recycling.

In the background Frank Black is singing:

Where is my mind,
Where is my mind,
Where is my mind,
Way out in the water,
See it swimmin.

So. Very. Tired.

Last year on I posted the following photo that was taken during my Thanksgiving festivities.

I am not a fan of the holidays.

I'm driving across the state in a few minutes, so this is all you get for now. xo

November 20, 2007

SNOW!!!

Upon pulling into my office's parking lot this morning, snow started flurrying down upon my car. Looking out the window now, it is actually snowing, there is accumulation, and everything. I have but one thing to say about this:

FINALLY!!!!

The weather Gods have smiled down upon New England and the odious lingering breath of summer is abated.

It will make for an interesting drive out to Northampton, for the Tegan and Sara concert tonight, but I'm up for it. Small effort in the name of rock and roll. Coming back will be the big test, but I love driving in the snow.

November 19, 2007

Make It Sting Just A Little More

Ok, so I totally poached the following quiz from Leigh's blog, but I couldn't resist . . . especially when I got the results and scored as a total slave to BDSM. Heh! I'm kinky as they come, and apparently as I come as well.

Ahem . . .






How are you in bed
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as A Slave To BDSM

Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you've been very naughty. You like teasing your partner and making them squirm, and not letting them be able to do anything about it. Some people think what you do is sick and disgusting, but you know it's all in good fun.


A Slave To BDSM


90%

Sex God


70%

A Romantic


53%

Virgin


28%