A few weeks ago, I was being courted by a fella, I'll go ahead and call him Frank. No... Francis... Because he was as lame as you would expect a fully grown man named Francis to be. So we met and were having a lively series of email exchanges leading up to what would be our first date. So in the process of all this, I managed to come down with a fierce head cold that was proving to be an impediment to our first date.
So I sent him this email:
Hey Francis,
Not a lot is new on my end except that I'm sick as a dog. Coughing, sneezing, snot everywhere. It's not so glamorous to be me right now. Feel free to call or email, but I'm afraid I'm not really up for fun and shenanigans.
To which he responded (and I've not edited his text) after several days:
H Fresh Hell
are you better, your last e-mail you didn't seem to horny, I expect you are feeling well now.?
What to talk/
Frank
Ok... so WTF?! Umm... I'm easy... but not that easy. So I told him as much because I'm like that. And I told him that if he wanted to talk or email me that would be fine and no hard feelings if he didn't. After a couple of weeks Francis sends me the following response:
Hi I was looking forward to talking with you again, or meeting for coffee. But I never agreed I would have sex with you, I think you presumed I would want to have sex with you, you really haven't shown me much, so no way was I thinking that. Perhaps if you impressed me, then maybe, I have 2 grad degrees, I know you have this intellectual superiority attitude, but believe me, it is not based in fact.
Ok, two graduate degrees and for the record, he claims to be a writer... of screenplays?!!! And an ability to occasionally complete a sentence renders me an intellectually superior sort? Since when?
I wonder if he seriously thinks that his charms will get him a visit to Happy Canyon. Yup... he's a champion. And here is a picture of the most recent bullet dodged:
So I sent him this email:
Hey Francis,
Not a lot is new on my end except that I'm sick as a dog. Coughing, sneezing, snot everywhere. It's not so glamorous to be me right now. Feel free to call or email, but I'm afraid I'm not really up for fun and shenanigans.
To which he responded (and I've not edited his text) after several days:
H Fresh Hell
are you better, your last e-mail you didn't seem to horny, I expect you are feeling well now.?
What to talk/
Frank
Ok... so WTF?! Umm... I'm easy... but not that easy. So I told him as much because I'm like that. And I told him that if he wanted to talk or email me that would be fine and no hard feelings if he didn't. After a couple of weeks Francis sends me the following response:
Hi I was looking forward to talking with you again, or meeting for coffee. But I never agreed I would have sex with you, I think you presumed I would want to have sex with you, you really haven't shown me much, so no way was I thinking that. Perhaps if you impressed me, then maybe, I have 2 grad degrees, I know you have this intellectual superiority attitude, but believe me, it is not based in fact.
Ok, two graduate degrees and for the record, he claims to be a writer... of screenplays?!!! And an ability to occasionally complete a sentence renders me an intellectually superior sort? Since when?
I wonder if he seriously thinks that his charms will get him a visit to Happy Canyon. Yup... he's a champion. And here is a picture of the most recent bullet dodged:
Fuck him... He's a loser and a tool.
