GAH!!

Instead of regaling y'all with tall tales of my misadventures I'll show you this:

Method 1 Excedances for VOCs - one or more of:

1,1-dichloroethane, 1,2,4-trichlorobenzene, 1,2-dichlorobenzene, 1,3-dichlorobenzene, 1,4-dichlorobenzene, 2-butanone (MEK), acetone, benzene, bromomethane, chlorobenzene, ethyl benzene, naphthalene[1], toluene, trans-1,2-dichloroetene, trichloroethene, xylene, [1,1,1,2-tetrachloroethane, 1,1,2,2-tetrachloroethane, 1,1,2-trichloroethene, 1,1-dichloroethene, 1,2-dichloroethane, 1,2-dichloropropane, bromodichloromethane, bromoform, carbon tetrachloride, chloroform, cis-1,2-dichloroethene, dibromochloromethane, dichloromethane, ethylene dibromide, hexachlorobutadiene, methyl isobutyl ketone (MIBK), styrene, tetrachloroethene, vinyl chloride]*

* ½ detection limit exceeds standard

[1] 1,2,4 trichlorobenzene, 1,2,3 trichlorobenzene, naphthalene, and several other SVOCs are all standard analytes under the EPA VOC Method 8260b. Although both EPA Method 8260b and EPA Method 8270c report valid results for these chemicals, they are discussed as VOCs in this report to avoid redundancy.

When I'm not in the business of regaling, the above is what I write. I bet you all want to dust off your resumes and get a job doing what I do for slowly killing my soul a living.

Empty Bed Blues

Bessie Smith sang songs that were gritty and provocative. She could pump out some seriously saucy metaphores. If you like this, you should check out Gimme a Pigfoot.

Empty Bed Blues

by Bessie Smith

I woke up this morning

With awful aching head

My new man had left me

Just a room and an empty bed

Bought me a coffee grinder,

Got the best one I could find

So he could grind my coffee

Cause he had a brand new grind

He's a deep-sea diver,

With a stroke that can't go wrong

He can touch the bottom,

And his wind holds out so long

He knows how to thrill me

And he thrills me night and day

He's got a new way of loving,

Almost takes my breath away

Oh, he's got that sweet something

And I told my girlfriend Lou

But the way she's ravin'

She must have gone and tried it too

When my bed get empty

Make me feel awful mean and blue

My springs are getting rusty

Sleepin' single like I do

Bought him a blanket

Pillow for his head at night

And I bought him a mattress

So he could lay just right

He came home one evening

With his spirit way up high

What he had to give me

Made me ring my hands and cry

He give me a lesson

That I never had before

When he got through teachin' me

From my elbow down was sore

He boiled my first cabbage

And he made it awful hot

When he put in the bacon

It overflowed the pot

When you get good lovin'

Never go and spread the news

I'll build up to cross you

And leave you with them empty bed blues