January 12, 2008

Hell in a Handbasket

Hokay . . . So!

Even though my blogging credibility will lose ground in the eyes of Old Knudsen, I’m daring to post a video that has made me laugh my fool ass off for years now. You may have seen it, but if not, you are in for a treat.

They tell me that the political climate is heating up and that someday soon, there will be an election for the new Chief Whore of the Free World. People are in a lather about who is the best whore in each party and whatnot. Republicans are in a tizzy about a Democrat getting into office and taking all their money away and enabling poor people and foreigners to live with some dignity. Democrats fear that Republicans will maintain the ever coveted Chief Whore of the Free World Office and they will turn all free thinkers into Bible-thumping, war-mongering, automatons that are hopped up on booze and prescription drugs, and that everyone who needs a helping hand will become more so downtrodden than they already are. Either way, chaos will ensue. The sun will cease to rise. And worst of all, we'll have a recession. There, I said it.

Politics. I pay attention, but I don't really give a damn how things pan out. I realize that position is not very politically correct of me. However, whatever the whore parade does, I still know how to make rice and beans. I can darn my socks and mend a hole in a pair of jeans and unravel a sweater from the thrift store to knit myself a new one. I have a car, but I also have a bicycle and I know how to use it and repair it. As was pointed out to me recently, I am resilient and resourceful. And frankly, I am a little bit Buddhist about politics.

Last night I was speaking with a friend who has never been "rich" but has always been comfortable. Her family didn't have to scrimp to get by. She doesn't remember going to the market with a single mother and $5 to feed two kids for a month. If that was her situation, she would be a turtle on her back.

I told her that if the bottom fell out of the economy, I would sit back and laugh my ass off as people fell apart in panic and desperation as they lost their cars, houses and . . . horror of it all . . . their god damned, flat-screen, high-definition televisions. Is it such a surprise that Americans are fat? She wondered what I would do if I lost my job in such a hypothetical. I reminded her that before I had my current job, I always had some job or another. They weren't always professional. They didn't always hold the esteem that my profession does. And they certainly didn't bring me the scratch that I earn now. Even so, there is always a way to turn a dime if you are willing to do what it takes.

She could not imagine that anyone who has worked hard to get ahead could go back to the holding hands of modest means once they've discovered the vibrating joys of gluttonous affluence. Perhaps she has never really held hands. She bought her house just a couple of months before the real estate market took a header. I urged her to hold off for a spell while the sub-prime adjustable rate mortgages adjusted and people started to panic. Her property has lost about $15,000 in the past six months. Fear and desperation always smells of opportunity to people like me who are patient and good at being poverty stricken.


AliBlahBlah said...

I loved the movie - even the bit about the English, but then *sigh* we are always playing croquet, so not really wrong there.

I never thought about unravelling a thrift store jumper for the wool though. Shit! Wool is so chuffing expensive, what a great idea, and pretty timely considering we bought our property moments before the economy tanked too.

dive said...

Ah, the vibrating joys of gluttonous affluence! You've done it again, Fresh.
I must say that yours is the most refreshing point of view I have ever heard coming from America. You're not secretly Canadian, are you?

Great movie, by the way.

Leigh said...

Thanks for the many giggles this morning Fresh.

Fresh Hell said...

Ali~ Just make sure you look at the seams and make sure that it can be easily deconstructed and you are golden. The first time you find a cashmere sweater with a couple of moth holes in it, you'll want to skip around the block. Give me a holler if you have questions about recycling wool.

Dive~ Not Canadian, but I have thought about hopping borders from time to time. Mostly after exploring the Canadian Rockies. If you ever get your passport renewed and venture over, you will never see a natural landscape quite as beautiful.

Mostly, politics bore me, so by default, I have to be one flexible girl to live in this politically retarded world.

Leigh~ Glad to bring a smile to your face.

Andraste said...

Well said, Hell-girl. I'm with you when the revolution comes. Before I got married and had a house and car, I lived check to check on crap wages and if my bills were paid and my bank balance was NOT in the negative, I considered myself rich. I can feed myself on a couple bucks a week and not lose any sleep at all. By comparison, SPOUSE panics if the bank balance is below a grand and loses sleep if the mortgage comes due the day before payday. I know people who are unemployed and beginning to panic, but won't even consider a temporary or retail gig because of the low pay and 'status.' Honestly. Perspective, huh?

Dear Prudence said...

As one who is living paycheck to paycheck and rarely sleeps for worrying over providing for my family, I have and would take any job to keep our heads above the water. Nothing in life is guaranteed!
Cool movie, I had not seen it.

laughykate said...

I love that movie..my favourite line? 'Fucking kangaroos.'

Art said...

The vid was funny in a sad sort of way...

@ "a little bit Buddhist about politics..."

I am down with that!

Old Knudsen said...

See I don't complain if there is a post along with a video, thats fine blogging but just a Youtube is bad.
Poverty is for the poor I say let them eat Big Macs.

Buy a shotgun and you'll never go hungry again, just don't get greedy in the vault.

Enrique said...

Great stuff. Even if we're going down the tubes to hell, we shouldn't lose the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Jocelyn said...

You always get me. 'Tain't it the truth that there's power and comfort in knowing you can just eat the clay out of the dirt if you really needed to?

Oh, and be a big whore?