tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post1290364238912003637..comments2023-04-05T05:35:07.239-04:00Comments on From the Gates of Hell: Marital BlissFresh Hellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05433690465518397066noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-20030061055049995352007-10-09T10:26:00.000-04:002007-10-09T10:26:00.000-04:00Y'all~ Sometimes breakups aren't adversarial. Thi...Y'all~ Sometimes breakups aren't adversarial. This is one of those instances. It's not as much that she HAS to go to the wedding, it's more a case of wanting to be present for the expansion of her family. She, her ex, and the new wife are raising a child together. Being petty serves no one. Her ex, his family, and friends have been in our lives for 18 years. The bride has been in her daughter's life since she was 2 years old. In essence, they are already a family. It's just the over the top sincerity of the ceremony that I object to. That and not being somewhat charitable in such a hard cruel world.<BR/><BR/>Relationships and marriages are very coducive to compartmentalizing and categorizing into standardized roles. There is a lot of presupposition of what an ex is and should be. Likewise what the new wife should be and the relationship should be between first and subsequent wives, as well as the relationship between the exes should be. It's understandable since often times ugliness prevails in these relationships. But it should be just as understandable that people can change their minds about their level of commitment and still be amicable with one another. The changing of the minds is where I get persnickety about the principal of marriage in the first place. i.e. if you don't mean it, don't make the commitment. <BR/><BR/>Thus ends my blathering on about something I know nothing about. I have had very few relationships that have sustained past a few months and I've certianly never promised myself to someone forever. My intimacy and commitment issues know no bounds. Nevertheless, I do pay attention to what others do in their relationships, and it seems that no matter who is involved, each situation and dynamic is a unique entity. <BR/><BR/>And thanks, Art.Fresh Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433690465518397066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-37839197911357018352007-10-08T08:02:00.000-04:002007-10-08T08:02:00.000-04:00Your sister is a bigger person than I could ever b...Your sister is a bigger person than I could ever be....Manuelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16333257013163173911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-58343174132791854452007-10-08T07:48:00.000-04:002007-10-08T07:48:00.000-04:00So...?So...?Sassy Sundryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04614149534818526010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-24374918345603466402007-10-07T19:07:00.000-04:002007-10-07T19:07:00.000-04:00Dude. it's Sunday night. I can't WAIT for an updat...Dude. it's Sunday night. <BR/><BR/>I can't WAIT for an update.<BR/><BR/>Just spent the afternoon at Waverly Oaks, drinking like an effing loon. <BR/><BR/>took 10 minutes to type this.<BR/><BR/>Thank Salma for 3-day weekends....<BR/><BR/>Urp.Andrastehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17995089221441792487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-7102564140672519232007-10-04T08:51:00.000-04:002007-10-04T08:51:00.000-04:00sugar, what ever you decide to do (and i know you ...sugar, what ever you decide to do (and i know you know this) just remember your niece will be there and she'll remember everything you say (been there, done that) re the gift..you're your sister's DATE...no gift needed from YOU! yes, i checked with miss manners!savannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04310843901371718758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-84350778988692028452007-10-03T15:07:00.000-04:002007-10-03T15:07:00.000-04:00That is so sad. You're not the misanthrope in this...That is so sad. You're not the misanthrope in this story...Arthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13528001127103773045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-5278633928916177192007-10-03T11:35:00.000-04:002007-10-03T11:35:00.000-04:00I hate weddings. If I could have sent a proxy to m...I hate weddings. If I could have sent a proxy to my own, I would have - but the idea came too late, the dress would have needed extra alterations, and we ran out of time. <BR/><BR/>Now, about these selfish, materialistic twats - words fail. I would donate to a charity and put it in your niece's name. So they get NOTHING. Not even the credit.Andrastehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17995089221441792487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-49892010154875843342007-10-03T07:46:00.000-04:002007-10-03T07:46:00.000-04:00WHAT? That is just wrong on so many levels. First,...WHAT? That is just wrong on so many levels. First, I think it's possible to teach a child that divorced parents can get along without one ex having to go to another's wedding. I applaud you for supporting your sister, but I think there's something going on there. <BR/><BR/>Second, they expect you, the ex-sister-in-law to give them a real gift? Your gift, my dear, is to be there for your sister. And they really said that?<BR/><BR/>I strongly suggest getting rip-roaring drunk at the reception and give a speech about charity.Sassy Sundryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04614149534818526010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-42743384389518219052007-10-03T07:34:00.000-04:002007-10-03T07:34:00.000-04:00Anonymous Mama~ High spirited indeed! I learnt fr...Anonymous Mama~ High spirited indeed! I learnt from the best. Love you, Mama!<BR/><BR/>Enrique~ If I buy tickets to go to the Yukon or Icelend, you're darned skippy they will be for me. However, those kids have the sense of entitlement that would allow them to accept a lavish gift from someone they know couldn't afford it. Disgraceful. <BR/><BR/>Ali~ Your kid is an impressive and fast learner. She took away the 'more sugar' lesson after several martini soaked olives. It's a testimony to her good breeding. Look out though, now you know what she's capable of. You're screwed, my friend. Smart kids are nothing but trouble. Ask Mama C. <BR/><BR/>Laughy Kate~ Oooh! 'Daddy, I want a pony!!' I like it. A lot. I'm going to have to add that one to the arsenal. <BR/><BR/>The sister started coming a little unhinged last night about the wedding. She was having shoe, hair, and dress issues. I wanted to suggest to her that we just don't go, but I know better than to drop that idea at this stage in the game. <BR/><BR/>Dive~ It's all true. What a nimrod, eh?Fresh Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433690465518397066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-29574839007444798792007-10-03T05:47:00.000-04:002007-10-03T05:47:00.000-04:00Hee hee. The tattoo story rules, Fresh.Hee hee. The tattoo story rules, Fresh.divehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938980502783421961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-16399842243342842422007-10-03T00:28:00.000-04:002007-10-03T00:28:00.000-04:00'More sugar no nap.' I like it a lot. My neices ha...'More sugar no nap.' I like it a lot. My neices have learnt, 'Daddy I want a pony,' and I can't wait to teach them how to dress like strippers. (Currently banned from that household). As for the wedding thing - no matter how 'okay' everyone claims to be about those type of things, at the end of the day it's alway going to feel strange. I am very amicably broken up with my boyfriend of eleven years and am delighted he is very happy with his new girlfriend, but I would rather have my tongue tied to the exhaust pipe of a car and be driven over broken glass than have to attend their wedding and pretend I felt okay about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-81197797242877884032007-10-02T22:26:00.000-04:002007-10-02T22:26:00.000-04:00OMG! I can't believe it, but then yes, wait I can,...OMG! I can't believe it, but then yes, wait I can, having met most of the cast of characters. The moral high ground is all very well, but 17 margaritas and in impromptu speech at the wedding? Priceless.<BR/><BR/>Now why is my daughter busy shouting 'more sugar no nap?'AliBlahBlahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03335907266347761153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-59563437917753554292007-10-02T20:19:00.000-04:002007-10-02T20:19:00.000-04:00So many challenges: the gift and then attending th...So many challenges: the gift and then attending the wedding. Why not buy them a plane ticket to a very exotic place like the Yukon, Belize, French Guyana or Iceland?<BR/>I don't envy you at all.<BR/>EnriqueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-36809491965077068592007-10-02T17:09:00.000-04:002007-10-02T17:09:00.000-04:00Good on ya girl! Bride + Groom = Self-Centered Ch...Good on ya girl! Bride + Groom = Self-Centered Cheapskates!! How's that for a mathematical equation?? (and I never was 2 good at math). And I like the other comment about pink leather mariachi pants at the wedding. If anyone could pull it off, it would be YOU!! Love you muchly my high spirited muchacha. <BR/>Mama CAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-78597846454467828832007-10-02T15:23:00.000-04:002007-10-02T15:23:00.000-04:00Dive and Full~ Much as I'd like to wear the pink l...Dive and Full~ Much as I'd like to wear the pink leather mariachi trousers, I don't have much pink in my wardrobe. I'd much rather wear black mariachi trousers and a poncho with a hat that rides low on my brow. Whenever I moved about the room, I'd play a recording of the theme to The Good The Bad and The Ugly. All the while with a cigarillo tightly clenched in my teeth. <BR/><BR/>Mon Dieu!! I think I just found my Haloween costume!! *mental note: go to tack shop, pick up spurs, and a crop for good measure ... never know when a crop might come in handy*<BR/><BR/>Funny story: When I first met my sister's ex, I had just gotten a tattoo. (No, you can't see it.) He said to me, "You know, Fresh, guys always want to fuck a girl with a tattoo, but they never want to marry one." <BR/><BR/>"Thanks for your input." Said I. <BR/><BR/>Fast forward 18 years: He's marrying a girl with a tattoo. Heh! I'm considering recounting that story when time comes for speeches. <BR/><BR/>Leigh~ Thanks. No matter how civilized the relationship is, it's always a hard swallow when your ex is announcing to the world that they prefer the company of someone else to your company. The sista is a toughie, though so she'll be fine.Fresh Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433690465518397066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-23728074799304612492007-10-02T15:01:00.000-04:002007-10-02T15:01:00.000-04:00Everyone has such different priorities in life. Wh...Everyone has such different priorities in life. <BR/><BR/>What an awesome sister you are not to mention what an incredible mother she must be to do that for her daughter, no matter how everything is great between your sister and her ex that would be a hard thing to do.Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01401434924234861085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-14501313292757864042007-10-02T14:54:00.000-04:002007-10-02T14:54:00.000-04:00Get up during the speeches and announce your inten...Get up during the speeches and announce your intention to donate on their behalf and ask them to choose from your selected charities on the spot.<BR/><BR/>The mean buggers should be too embarrassed to refuse.<BR/><BR/>You could always just bring a gift tag with your message on and tie it to an expensive looking gift from someone else.<BR/><BR/>Have a jolly, whizzy time. <BR/>Pink leather sounds like a good fashon statement.<BR/>You can be reasonably sure nobody else will be wearing the same thing.Fullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13625738697317691500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-55357415178738796382007-10-02T09:41:00.000-04:002007-10-02T09:41:00.000-04:00Get them a subscription to a charity. That way, yo...Get them a subscription to a charity. That way, you pay the first year as a wedding present and then they are forced by guilt to carry on.<BR/><BR/>And wear pink leather mariachi trousers to the wedding.<BR/>You know you want to.divehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938980502783421961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-88635446634150656092007-10-02T08:54:00.000-04:002007-10-02T08:54:00.000-04:00Scout~ My sister is a good gal. I'm glad she and ...Scout~ My sister is a good gal. I'm glad she and her ex have a good relationship. Especially since I actually like him, but he's got a seriously overdeveloped capacity for self-indulgence.Fresh Hellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433690465518397066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8881890855536124737.post-4843455676125368472007-10-02T08:28:00.000-04:002007-10-02T08:28:00.000-04:00Well, that's a wedding I wouldn't want to attend. ...Well, that's a wedding I wouldn't want to attend. I admire your sister's ability to be civil for the sake of her child--go ahead and build on that with your landmine from "just give."<BR/><BR/>Not having extra money to give indeed.Scouthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06209638721810105979noreply@blogger.com